Yes all Women, Not all Men

I understand the #Yesallwomen hashtag, and have used it quite a few times myself in various posts.  I have been catcalled, stalked, assaulted, abused, and generally mistreated because of my gender.  I am not an object.  I am a human being with thoughts and feelings.  I also have a strength that I draw upon in my darkest moments.  I have two sons and two nephews.  My elder nephew was raised in an environment of abuse and misogyny.  My husband and I fought for custody of him from a man who refused to believe that women are strong, smart, and have the ability to determine the difference between what is right and wrong. 

M. is turning out to be a loving, caring person.  He has been diagnosed with Intermittent Explosive Disorder and ADHD, but when you are exposed to meth in the womb and abuse outside of it, your personality typically takes on bits and pieces of what you have seen and is affected by what is introduced into your little tiny body.  His brother, J, is also in our care and because he spent most of his life with us, he shows few symptoms of IED.  (side note-IED makes sense--improvised explosive device...see the parallels?) and some symptoms ADHD, which we can deal with. 

Understanding behavior needs to be an issue that is directed by parents, schools, and mental health professionals.  Special attention needs to be paid to children who isolate themselves in a computer world and have little real interaction with genuine human beings.  I'm not saying that computers are the evil in the world--but through our use of computers we also need to be connected with other human beings in a very real way.  Avatars need not apply.  We are all different and interesting, why should we cover our true selves with a computer self?

Parents need to invade their children's privacy.  Be a parent, not a friend.  You have the right to stalk them online, to invade and search their rooms, and know their friends.  I tell my kids that if you don't know so-and-so's last name, they are not your friend.  You don't need to be a helicopter parent to parent.  I allow my kids to have their own lives; however, I also keep half an eye on what they do and who they are with.  I don't think Rodger's parents did anything wrong, I think the law is not equipped to allow parents of young adults to invade their privacy when it's needed.  Mr. Rodger's parents could not invade his life by law, and by not being allowed to parent their child, a monster was created.  One who believed that more than half of the world's population deserved death by basis of our hormones and gender; who felt that those engaged in relationships didn't deserve them because he wasn't capable of forming a relationship.

I think happiness is earned and also deserved, but not at the cost of the freedom and happiness of others.  We need to arm our young men with tools necessary to create bonds with others that are not dysfunctional or abusive.  Our young women need to be armed in the same way--create a bond with someone where there is no abuse on either side.  Women can be abusive, too. And it hurts just as badly. 

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